Tired of sending the same old Amazon virtual birthday gift of $50?
Tired of putting the same old “Congratulations” gif on Facebook when someone graduates from college or gets a promotion?
Tired of the same old birthday card where you just sign your name at the bottom and don’t put any thought into it?
Yeah, me neither. But in case you are, I may have something for you -- Cameo.com. Cameo.com is a website where you can get “personalized messages from your favorite celebrities.” For a fee, of course.
So, if you wanted to wish your husband a Happy Birthday, and he was a big “Revenge of the Nerds” fan (and who isn’t?), then you could pay “Lewis” (actor Robert Carradine) $100 to send a personal videotaped message to your husband from Lewis himself.
Or, if you wanted to congratulate your parents on their anniversary, and they were big “Perfect Strangers” fans (and who is?), you could pay $135 for a personalized video message from Bronson Pinchot (“Balki”).
Or if you wanted to apologize to your wife for breaking her grandmother’s priceless vase, who better than Tone Loc ($200) to deliver that message and get you out of a jam?
The “celebrities” run the gamut – actors, musicians, athletes, YouTube influencers, models, gamers, activists, Drag Queens.
Basically, anybody who used to be somebody, or never was somebody, is available on the Cameo website – again, for a price.
And that’s where the confusion begins.
Some of these “celebrities” don’t know their worth, and some have a misguided understanding of their worth.
For instance, a professional cyclist, Lachlan Morton, charges $1000 for a video message. Meanwhile, maybe the greatest athlete to ever live, Bo Jackson, charges a mere $450.
A professional wrestler, Tama Tonga, demands an absurd $9,999 on the website, or you can hire a pro wrestler I’ve heard of, Rick Flair, for just $500.
An actress nobody’s ever heard of, Nikki Giavasis, bills $1,000 for a video message, while the “Man for Atlantis,” Patrick Duffy is a mere $75.
For $99, you can either hire little-known, yet well-named, Canadian musician Coyote Shivers, or have Kid from Kid n’ Play bring a mini-House Party to your message.
Aaron Knight from “Australian Survivor,” bills $1,000 per video message on Cameo. Or you can save $850 and get three separate messages from Tonya Harding, Corbin Bernsen, and Michael O’Keefe.
For $50, you can get the puppeteer from “Alf,” Noel McNeal, to send you a (probably) creepy message, or spend the same for baseball legend John Kruk, or Olympian gymnast Nadia Comenici.
A personal message from your favorite (or not favorite) celebrity doesn’t have to break the bank, though. Cameo has celebrities available for all budgets, including:
• Actor David Herman (Michael Bolton from “Office Space”) - $49
• Charlene Tilton (“Dallas”) $60.
• Actor David Faustino of “Married... with Children” - $50.
• “Webster” star Emmanuel Lewis - $69
• Olympic swimmer Rowdy Gaines - $25
• “That’s Incredible!” host John Davidson - $50
• Larry Wilcox (Jon from “Chips”) - $40.
• Alan Beiler, AKA “The Black Amish Man” - $25
• Canadian Football League quarterback Will Arndt - $6
• Comedian Uglyahhfatguy $1.
I’m no accountant, but $1 is less than the $50 I was sending folks for an Amazon gift card. So is $25. Don’t know about $40 – will have to check on that.
Anyway, it’s certainly worth a try. And “Webster” may need the dough.
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
