As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer.
I was around 16 when I got my first typewriter for Christmas. I used that typewriter almost every day. Years later, I was able to get an electric typewriter, which made all the difference in the world to me.
I like to create words and phrases in my head and practice them before writing.
I could create words and phrases and assemble them in sentences that really made sense. As I got older, however, my tongue and my brain had a falling-out. I could think of things in my head, but my stubborn tongue would never get them right.
This caused me a lot of trouble. I think my tongue did it on purpose.
Most of the trouble was with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha.
One of her infamous questions to me is, “What are you thinking?”
I look at her quite seriously and say, “I was just thinking about a joke. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 7 8 9.”
Sometimes, when you speak your mind, you either confuse the other person or get yourself in trouble. That’s been my experience throughout the years.
Often, when watching TV in the evening, I’m thinking about my sermon for the weekend. I’ll go over and over the elements of its delivery.
I’m not paying too much attention to what we’re watching on TV. But, Martha will say, “Did you see that? Wasn’t that amazing?”
At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about. But I go along with her and say, “That certainly was amazing.”
Then, much to my shock, she replies, “Tell me what was the most amazing part of that scene?” Now I am in a situation I can’t get out of. She’s caught me so many times like this.
It’s not that I can’t pay attention, I’m just thinking about something altogether different. I’m working it out in my head so I can put it all in writing in the morning.
We’ll be driving across town in her van. She’s behind the wheel, and I’m sitting in the passenger seat, thinking about a project I’m working on. That’s a great time for me to think through something I’m working on.
“Oh, my,” she said very excitedly. “Did you see that?”
Now I’m in a pickle, and not sure what she saw. Most of the time, I respond, “Yes, that was really something.”
She’ll glance at me and say, “I was referring to the dead raccoon on the road back there.”
I’ll never get it right. I can spend the first few moments in the car chatting back and forth, but sooner or later, my mind will focus on something else, and I won’t hear or see anything around me.
It’s not my mind that gets me into trouble, but rather my tongue.
I can’t help but think of a verse in the Bible that deals with the tongue.
“Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!” — James 3: 5
Most of my trouble stems from my tongue. If I can control my tongue, my life would be a better experience.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is [email protected].
