We’ve all heard the famous “Old Wive’s Tales.”
Advice and superstition like “It’s bad luck to walk under a ladder” or “If you cross your eyes, they will stay that way” or “Tickling a baby’s feet will make them stutter” or “To cure a cough, take a hair from the coughing person’s head, put it between two slices of bread, then feed it to a dog, saying, ‘Eat well, you hound — may you be sick and I be sound.’” Okay, so maybe only some of us with crazy old wives in our family have heard that one.
Recently, I did some research on old wive’s tales, and found some rather bizarre superstitions. What struck me most about old wive’s tales are that old wives are obsessed with death, getting married and visitors coming to see them — just like new wives are.
Below is a listing of actual old wive’s tales (while I can’t vouch for their veracity, I do suggest you try each for yourself). In some cases, I have added my own sarcastic comments in parentheses for your — no, let’s be honest, my — enjoyment.
• A bird in the house is a sign of death.
• An acorn on a window sill keeps lightning away.
• Seeing an ambulance is very unlucky, unless you pinch your nose or hold your breath until you see a black or brown dog.
• Spit on a new bat before using it for the first time to make it lucky.
• It’s bad luck to put a hat on a bed.
• Placing a bed facing north and south brings misfortune.
• If a bee enters your home, it’s a sign that you will soon have a visitor. If you kill the bee, the visitor will be unpleasant.
A swarm of bees settling on a roof is an omen that the house will burn down.
• If you use the same pencil to take a test that you used for studying for the test, the pencil will remember the answers.
(My rebuttal: This is absolutely not true. I know because I tried it in college. For that matter, it’s also not true that if you study drunk and take the test drunk, you’ll make an A. From what I was told.)
• If someone is sweeping the floor and sweeps over your feet, you’ll never be married.
• Don’t knit a pair of socks for a boyfriend or he’ll walk away from you.
• If a young girl catches a ladybug and then releases it, the direction it flies away will be the direction from which her future husband comes.
• It’s bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match.
• A cricket in the house is a sign of good luck.
• It’s bad luck to cut your fingernails on Friday or Sunday. Fingernail clippings should be saved, burned or buried.
(Some suggestions on what to do with all those saved fingernails: Melded together, they make for a great ashtray, doormat or a very painful paddle.)
• It’s bad luck to say the word “pig” while fishing.
• Cut your hair on Good Friday to prevent headaches the rest of the year.
• Pulling a gray or white hair out will cause 10 more to grow in its place.
• Lettuce has the power to arouse and counteract the effects of wine.
• An onion cut in half and placed under the bed of a sick person will draw off fever and poisons (as well as suitors).
• A watermelon will grow in your stomach if you swallow a watermelon seed.
• A yawn is a sign that danger is near.
(So every morning at 9 a.m. I’m in danger? Of what? A nap?)
• If you eat cabbage, you will grow large breasts.
• A sneezing cat is a sign of future wealth.
(For who? The cat?)
• If the palm of your right hand itches, you will soon be getting money. If the palm of your left hand itches, you will soon be paying out money.
(My whole left arm itches. What does that mean?)
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
