I’ve always fashioned myself as somewhat of an entrepreneur.
My ventures into entrepreneurship haven’t been taken very seriously by society at large, though, probably because, until just recently, I mistakenly believed it was “entremanure” instead of entrepreneur.
My mispronunciation, repeated over and over, didn’t seem to instill confidence in potential investors.
Now, though, with my corrected enunciation, I have renewed enthusiasm for my latest project.
Unlike my past entrepreneurial projects/inventions — “The Coucherator” (part refrigerator/part couch), “The Ketchupsicle” (the ketchup-flavored popsicle), “The Moth Burger” (Somebody had to find a good use for moths), or “The Fritos-Powered Car” (self-explanatory) — I think I have found the secret to success this time.
First of all, I won’t use “The” in the product’s name. That seems to be bad luck.
And secondly, my primary downfall in past ventures was that I always got bogged down in complicated scientific minutia (i.e., building a refrigerated couch, freezing ketchup on a stick, catching moths, building a car powered by Fritos, etc.).
This undertaking is so simple even I can make it work. Here’s the idea: Hot dog juice.
Whenever I open a package of hot dogs, there is always some juice in the package left over. I have no idea where this juice comes from — probably residue from when they picked them off the tree.
I usually just throw the hot dog juice away with the package, or use it to kill weeds in the yard.
My thinking is: People love hot dogs. Nobody is using this juice. Why not sell it?
Hence, Dr. Lucky’s 100 Percent Hot Dog Juice.
I don’t know who Dr. Lucky is, but I figure putting “Dr. Lucky” in the product’s name will lend an aura of credibility to my hot dog juice, as if it’s been inspected by an actual medical doctor.
I personally never have consumed any of this hot dog juice, but that’s not the point.
The point is: If you give a 4year-old, or an 84-year-old, the choice between prune juice and Dr. Lucky’s 100 Percent Hot Dog Juice, what do you think they are going to choose? Hot dogs trump prunes every time.
I’ve added the “100 Percent” to the name as part of our marketing strategy to lure health-conscious mothers. When we buy juice at the grocery store, my wife always makes sure it’s “100 Percent” juice, and not artificially flavored.
Dr. Lucky’s will have no artificial flavors. All of our juice will come straight out of hot dog packages.
With the recent ridiculous summer temperatures, who wouldn’t want some refreshing hot dog juice with their hot dogs and apple pie? It’s the perfect American meal.
Why hasn’t somebody thought of this before?
Maybe I am Dr. Lucky after all.
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
