As a child, I remember my parents saying to me, “I’m not going to tell you again.”
The only problem with that was they did tell me again. And again. And usually another time.
As I became an adult, I’m the one giving this last and final warning. And, of course, my children responded to it the same way I responded — they didn’t listen.
I think it might be an inherited trait.
However, I’m now in a different situation. I receive letters and emails at least once a week, warning me that this is the last and final notice about my car or home warranty, or my data stored in the “cloud.”
If I had all the postage that accumulated over the years from just the mailed notice, I could retire in style.
I quickly trash the emails and do the same with mailed letters unless they contain a prepaid postage envelope. I usually take those envelopes, put a tack in them, seal, and put in the mailbox for pickup.
Over the last several years, a new level of warning has emerged. It’s a wonderful invention by Alexander Graham Bell called the telephone. Every day, I receive a phone call warning me that this is their last and final warning concerning my expiring car warranty.
If only that were true.
The trouble with these phone calls is there’s no real person on the other end. I don’t mean me, I mean their end. It’s all recorded, and how they do that is above my pay scale.
Then, beginning in the fall near with annual Medicare renewal time, I have actual people call me.
The calls I like are those I’m asked personal questions.
“Do you have diabetes?” I always respond to them, ‘No, I don’t have diabetes, but I am a very sweet guy.” Usually when I say that, there’s a quick “click” on the other end.
There are times when I answer using the voice of Daffy Duck. I’ve done this so often I’m becoming quite skilled at it.
I enjoy their question about my age. I usually respond, “I don’t know how old I am because my age changes every year and I don’t know what it’s going to be this year.”
I can’t tell how many were so confused by my answer they said nothing and just hung up.
Recently, I’ve been winning from a PCH contest. I don’t recall signing up for this contest, but I was grateful to have won it. One prize was $8.5 million and a new Porsche. I couldn’t tell you how excited I was to win. It was my lucky day.
In processing this, all I had to do was send them $14,000 for the processing fee, and then I would receive all that money, along with the car.
It’s amazing how many people lie at a job. Thinking on this I was reminded what Solomon said, and he was spot on.
“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.”
— Proverbs 12: 22
Whenever a person lies it has a way of coming back. I remember my dad used to say if I didn’t lie I wouldn’t need a good memory. I’ve lived plenty long enough to understand what he meant.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives in Ocala, Fla. His email is [email protected].
