Pickups & Splashes from Floor & Pool
A number of years ago, I was watching a television program where they were asking a series of respected actors who they thought the best actors of all time were.
Most cited the usual “serious” thespians – Marlon Brando, Robert DeNiro, Dustin Hoffman, etc. Then they interviewed actor Billy Bob Thornton. When they asked him who was the best actor ever, he did not hesitate in his answer.
“Don Knotts,” he said. “Don Knotts gave us the best character, the most clearly drawn, ever.”
I agree. Don Knotts, known primarily as Deputy Barney Fife on “The Andy Griffith Show,” died nearly two decades ago – in 2006. In five seasons on the show, he won an unprecedented five Emmys. And he earned every one of them. His Barney Fife was simply the greatest fictional character ever created.
Knotts basically played a variation of the Fife role in most of his other television and film work, but, oddly, the man was not like that character at all personally. From all reports, he was unlike the persona – very quiet and reserved.
A number of years after Don Knotts died, in conversation with my wife, I referenced “Barney Fife.”
“Who’s Barney Fife?,” my daughter asked, who was around 10 at the time.
I saw a learning opportunity present itself. Since then, I’ve made my children watch “The Andy Griffith Show.” They love it, although they can’t fathom why it’s filmed in black and white.
If you, or your children, don’t know who “Barney Fife” is, look up these episodes of “The Andy Griffith Show” and see what the fuss is about:
• “The Bookie Barber.” In this episode, a bookie takes up residence at Floyd’s Barber Shop. Barney attempts to infiltrate the racket by dressing up as an old woman and placing a bet.
• “Lawman Barney.” Barney asks some peddlers to move and they refuse, shaking his confidence. Andy attempts to help, telling the peddlers his deputy is known as “Fife the Fierce” and “Crazy Gun Barney.” The peddlers, though, learn the truth and confront Barney again. This time, Barney musters up the courage to stand up for himself and his authority.
• “The Cow Thief.” Andy and Barney try to solve the mystery of how cows are being stolen from a local farm. A special agent is brought in to help.
The agent: “The Sheriff tells me you decided not to make a moulage.”
Barney: “Moulage? Yeah, that’s right. We decided not to make a moulage. Oh, we told a few people, but we decided it didn’t make sense upsettin’ folks, running around, blabbing, making a big moulage out of it.”
• “Convicts-at-Large.” My vote for the funniest “Andy Griffith” episode ever. Female convicts hole up in a cabin and capture Barney and Floyd. Due to his likeness to another man, one of the women calls Barney “Al.” Floyd then calls Barney “Al” for the rest of the episode.
Barney won’t dance with any of the women until he sees Andy outside. He then asks Maude, the heavyset ringleader of the convicts, to dance.
“I thought you didn’t want to dance?”
“You’re getting to me,” he replies with an amorous glare.
Barney then “tangos” Maude out the door so Andy can handcuff her.
• “Andy on Trial.” Probably Don Knotts’ best performance as Barney. Andy is on trial for malfeasance (partially due to Barney), and Barney delivers a stirring testimony defending the Sheriff. Basically, his monologue summarizes what’s so great about the show.
While Don Knotts is gone, his Barney Fife will live on forever in reruns, and on streaming services. And make people laugh forever.
Of note: The headline, “Pickups and Splashes from Floor and Pool” is the name of Barney Fife’s sports column from the high school newspaper. It ran just once. It was “too controversial,” according to Barney.
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@ clinchcounty news
