In the news recently, there was a story about a man involved in an automobile accident, which wasn’t his first time.
I can’t remember how many accidents he’d had, but it turned out he never had a driver’s license.
As I watched a thought hit me. I’d never thought this before. Since a license is needed for everything in the world, do I need to get a license to drive my wife crazy?
I must come clean and say that for the last 55 years I’ve been driving wife Martha, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, crazy. I own up to it and take responsibility.
The important issue I had to work out was where did I get my license to drive her crazy? I thought a lot about this question because much of my life rests on it.
After several days of pondering this query, I finally concluded I did get my license to drive her crazy.
You might say, “Where did you get that license?”
I got it 55 years ago, in a church, before a minister when I said, “I do.” That’s all the license I need.
I only wish I’d thought of this years ago, but I’m not going to waste my time regretting what I haven’t done. Instead, I'm going to focus on driving her crazy.
After all, I’ve had a lot of practice through the years developing this driving skill. I won’t brag, but I believe I’ve become a professional driver on this highway.
My license hasn’t expired, so it’s legitimate. I love it when a plan comes together.
I now need to get my game in order and figure out how to drive her crazier than she is already.
This demands quite a bit of planning on my part. I spent several hours looking back over the years, figuring out how I’ve driven her crazy in the past.
At the time, I didn’t know I was doing it. Now, I can do it and know I’m doing it. Does life get any better than that?
One thing I need to consider is when I’m driving her crazy, I’m most often in the passenger seat. So, I need to be very careful in planning. I certainly don’t want anything to go wrong. After all, I’m going to have a lot of fun with this.
I need to organize my plans carefully around this. I don’t want her to know I’m the person behind this “crazy.” If I can make it seem like it’s anybody else’s fault but mine, I’m going to get away with it.
My plan was coming together, and I was eager to get it rolling, then I remembered a Bible verse.
“But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.”
— Hebrews 13: 16
Looking at my plan, I asked myself a serious question: Will this plan of mine really please God?
Spontaneously driving my wife crazy is one thing, but deliberately planning to drive her crazy is completely different. God always comes first in my plans.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is jamessnyder5’@gmail.com.
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