Old sayings are a dime a dozen.
And you know what a dime is worth nowadays (for the record – 2 cents).
As we veer recklessly into a new year in a few months, I think it’s about time we went out with some old sayings, and in with some new old sayings.
Like most of our laws, and the stock market, time has rendered many of these archaic expressions useless. They simply no longer make sense, if they ever did.
I have collected a number of old sayings that need to be retired forever. Start today ridding these phrases from your vocabulary: “From the horse’s mouth.”
This saying started back in the 1950s when the television program “Mr. Ed” led people to believe that horses could talk. They also believed that smoking was good for you in the 1950s, for what it’s worth (about a dime then).
Since Mr. Ed usually spoke the truth when he wasn’t lying, the phrase took root, even when everyone eventually realized that animals couldn’t talk (in the late 1980s).
“Little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.”
When my daughter was little, I found neither sugar nor spice anywhere on her person. From my experience, little girls are mostly comprised of saliva, bones, blood, a pancreas or two, and a little monkey running on a treadmill.
“Little boys are made of snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails.”
Science has scientifically rebuffed this myth. After years of research, scientists have proven that little boys are made up of 85 percent mucous and 15 percent boogers.
“I didn’t have that on my bingo card.”
People say this often to show surprise, as in “I didn’t have the Missouri Tigers being good in football this year on my bingo card.”
I don’t play bingo often (meaning, twice in my life), but all the bingo cards I have seen have numbers on them – not odd scenarios or situations. Makes zero sense.
“A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush.”
Who does that apply to other than magicians? They’re the only modern people I can think of that would ever have a bird in their hand – unless you’re referring to an obscene gesture.
In that case, this phrase needs to be banned anyway.
“Don’t put the cart before
the horse.”
I’ve been grocery shopping nearly a dozen times, and I’ve never seen a horse anywhere in a supermarket. Apparently, in the old days, horses would pull grocery carts in the supermarket (Man, those people were lazy).
If the cart got in front of the horse, a terrible traffic jam would occur at the check-out aisle, rendering the scanner and all credit cards invalid.
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
Why not just say, “What’s good for a man is good for a woman?” That leaves ducks out of it, and is far less confusing.
“A penny saved is a penny earned.”
What’s a penny?
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
Comments