At my age, people — particularly my wife Martha, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage — believe I don’t listen when people talk.
Of course, some people aren’t worth listening to anyway, but I digress.
When I’m around people, I don’t have any problem talking with everybody and responding to every conversation. My main goal is to make people laugh, and I'm pretty good at it, especially among my relatives.
Seriously, though, I’m not quite sure if some are laughing with me or at me.
Martha’s noticed this. She thinks when she’s talking to me, I’m not listening. Often, she says, “Are you listening to me?”
She says this several times, and I stare at her while nodding my head yes. Of course I’m listening, I just don’t know when to respond.
Sometimes I get up in the morning and go right to my office to start my workday, and Martha will come to the door and say, “Are you ready?”
I look at her as though I don't know what she’s saying and respond, “Oh, yes, I'm ready to work for the rest of the day. Thanks for asking.”
She never accepts that and responds, “Do you remember what I told you the other day?”
To me, that’s a trick question because she tells me a lot of things every day. How am I going to remember something she told me several days ago?
“No, my dear, I’m sorry, I don't remember what you told me the other day. What was it?”
Looking at me with a grimace all over her face, she said, “I told you the other day we were going to go across town and have lunch with some friends. You agreed to that appointment. Are you ready to go now?"
One question I get asked a lot from her is, “Do you hear anything I'm saying?”
Sometimes at breakfast, Martha will clear her throat and then say, “Do you know whose birthday it is today?”
There’s absolutely no way I can know whose birthday it is today or any other day, for that matter. When she asks me that, I look at her very seriously and say, “I thought that was your job?” Then I smile at her, but she doesn’t return it.
One section of her craft room is dedicated to only birthday cards. She hasn't bought a birthday card in I don't know how long.
She makes cards herself. To make birthday cards, she has to know whose birthday it is.
When I'm having a conversation with her, I hear everything she says, and I can respond quite intelligently. However, give me two days, and I won't remember a word she spoke.
As I reminisced about all of this, I was reminded of a Bible verse in Proverbs that sorta settles some of it.
“He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” — Proverbs 18: 13
I’ve discovered when I speak before I hear the whole sentence, I get it all wrong. I’m still on that learning curve with Martha.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is jamessnyder5’@gmail.com.
Comments