When it comes to sweet items, I am a connoisseur with a delicate palate. All I need is something sweet set before me, and I can tell you how wonderful it is after the first bite. I may be a little addicted to sweet things.
After celebrating 55 years of marital bliss with wife Martha, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, I have to say she makes some of the sweetest desserts I’ve ever tasted. Whether it’s a pie, a cookie, or a cake, they’re the sweetest I’ve ever had.
I’ve also noticed after all this time with her, she comes up with names that confuse me. I try not to let it bother me, and I don’t ask her to explain herself because I know what that would lead to. I take note of the words she uses, especially when she describes others.
I’m not very good with these kinds of words, but every once in a while I’ll say to her, “You’re as sweet as an apple fritter.” I don’t know anything sweeter than an apple fritter.
Recently, I heard her use a new name I’d never heard before. We were watching TV, and I believe it was Judge Judy. If you ever watched that show, you know there are a lot of crazy people who come before her bench.
There was one guy who was really loopy in many regards.
When Judge Judy announced her verdict, Martha said, “That guy was a real fruitcake.”
I’d never heard that word in that context. Yes, I’ve heard it referring to food, but never about a person.
Staring at her for a few seconds, I said, “What do you mean he’s a fruitcake?”
“Didn’t you hear that guy? He was the most eccentric idiot I’ve ever seen. To me he’s the face of a fruitcake.”
I’d never heard that definition before, or that word used to describe somebody. But if Martha used it, it must be so.
I can think of a lot of relatives who would qualify for that definition. Thinking about it, I come from a family of fruitcakes. If that’s so, it would explain a lot of things that happened in our family. I’m waiting for my children and grandchildren to realize they have some “fruitcake” DNA.
We were driving across town to do some shopping together, and as we were going, I happened to mention it. “Do you sometimes think I’m a fruitcake?”
Without missing a beat, she said, “Look at the license plate on that car over there. They’re from California. I wonder what they’re doing here.”
I knew exactly what she was doing, and it really got me out of trouble I might’ve gotten into. Sometimes it is best not to ask questions, particularly if I’m around Martha.
A verse from the Bible came to mind as I thought about this.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
— Ephesians 4: 32
The troubling aspect of the verse is treating others as God has treated me. Reflecting on this I thought if God can do this to me, then I could do this to everyone around me.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is jamessnyder5’@gmail.com.
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