I’ve never had an ambition to become a millionaire. When my friend asked me what I’d do if I had a million dollars, I really didn't know what to say.
Later, I realized that dreaming about wealth is fun, but it’s also hilarious how our minds invent these grand ideas that never quite match real life.
If I were a millionaire, I’d give The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, enough money every week to do her thrift store shopping.
She hops from one thrift store to another and then to another. She can spend the whole day hopping from thrift store to thrift store, especially with her daughters. They make a wonderful team when it comes to thrift stores.
Now, while she’s hopping from thrift store to thrift store, I’d treat myself to a box of apple fritters. After all, if Martha isn't home, then she can't see me eating my favorite pastry, and I don’t get into trouble. What a fun time that would be with some of that million.
As I was thinking about this sitting in my lazy chair enjoying a coffee break, Martha came in the living room.
“Why are you smiling so much?,” she asked.
“Oh, my dear, I was just thinking about a joke.”
“Yeah, and what joke?”
Now, I was backed into a corner. I thought for a moment and then replied, “I was thinking about the joke, why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.”
Looking at me and shaking her head, she said, “Why do you tell yourself that joke 10 times a day and still laugh? We both know you weren't thinking of that joke.”
I finally said, “I was just thinking of what I’d do with a million dollars.”
She sat down on the couch and she said, “And what would you do if you were a millionaire?”
I said, “Well, the first thing I’d do is to give you a large weekly allowance so you and the daughters could go to all of the thrift stores in the county.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” she said. “But, what would you be doing while I'm out shopping the thrift stores?”
Hesitating with my answer, Martha said, “You don’t need to say a word. You’d be thinking of getting apple fritters.”
“I never thought of that,” I said very thoughtfully, “but that sounds like a very good idea.” And then I laughed at her.
“Let me understand this,” she said, “if you were a millionaire you’d spend a large portion of your money on me for shopping and you buying apple fritters?”
My smile quickly evaporated. In further thinking, I was reminded of what the Bible says in Ecclesiastes.
“He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.”
— Ecclesiastes 5:10
No matter how much money I might have, I will never be satisfied. My satisfaction is rooted in my relationship with Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is [email protected].
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