My dad died 16 years ago, but I can honestly say a day hasn’t passed since then I haven’t thought about him.
Each Father’s Day, in particular, is filled with recollections, and last Sunday was no different. One thing that stands out in my memories is money.
He didn’t have a lot of money, but the money he did have was somewhat of an obsession with him. When he got his bank statement, he spent the day going through it.
Thinking of his connection with money sparked a memory about going to lunch with him. Often, several of his friends would join us and we’d have lunch. I didn’t catch this at first, but it didn’t take me long to see what was happening.
Everybody paid their own bill, but Dad picked up mine, which I was thankful for. He told everybody he’d take care of the tip, and nobody needed to worry about it.
I noticed as we left he’d put money on the table, but I didn’t quite understand what it was for. As we walked away, I looked back and saw the tip was a quarter. I remembered it sometimes only was a nickel, so this time he was being generous, leaving five times that.
As we were walking out, one of the guys would say they had to go to the bathroom and would catch up with us in the parking lot. I never assumed what they were doing, but later I realized they were going back to the table and leaving more money for the waitress.
He never knew about this, at least I don’t think he did. If he did, he didn’t let on.
Compared to my dad, my mother wasn’t at all frugal. Believe me, Dad had to watch over her with a sharp eye so she wouldn’t spend too much money, which taught me the value of careful spending and the importance of financial discipline in family life.
This was particularly true around Christmas. Mom wanted to buy all of us kids a lot of presents. Dad, on the other side of the Christmas tree, believed each of us should only get one Christmas gift.
And he was unwavering in that. It was one of the few things they really disagreed about.
Of course, the same attitude was prevalent for our birthdays. Mom would like to get us half a dozen birthday gifts, but Dad would only settle for one. I can remember them arguing over which gift to get me.
It wasn’t that Dad didn’t love us, he was just careful about money because he was the family’s provider. Like many Pennsylvania families when he was growing up, money came very hard, and he was going to make sure he took care of what came to him later in his life.
From him, I learned the importance of cautious spending and saving — no matter how little — when money came my way. It’s a lesson that still guides me today.
The Apostle Paul understood this in First Timothy.
“For the love of money is the root of all evil.”
— 1 Timothy 6:10a
Our problem is not money itself. We need money to live every day. “The Love of money” is what undermines our lives.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is [email protected].
