Throughout my life, I’ve often heard people telling other people what they should be or do. I don’t know where they get the right to say that about others.
I first encountered this attitude with my mother. She’d often say to me, “Son, you need to start acting your age.”
At the time, I didn’t know what she really meant by that.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve never had any thespian ambitions. From the time I was little, I was always the real me. I never acted like something I wasn’t.
How could my mother look at me and tell me to start acting my age? If anyone should know how old I was, it was her.
When I left home, I got married, and The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, seemed to have the same kind of ideas as my mother.
Too often she’d say, “Why don't you just act your age?”
The first time she said that to me, I was quite stunned. I don't know how to do all of this acting.
I can act like a fool, and I know how to do that quite well. But I don't know how to act my age because I don’t know what my age is today.
I do know by the time I understand my age, I'll have another birthday, and I'll have to start the process all over again.
Once, Martha said, “Why don't you just act your age?”
I responded, “If you can give me the script I'll study it so that I can act my age.”
The look she gave me was well worth my comeback.
What if I get up one morning and feel like I'm 25? Do I then need to act my age, which is 25? I'm sure that wouldn’t thrill her.
The next morning, I get up feeling like I'm 65. Do I then need to act my age of 65?
In fact, I don't think it would thrill me either. I don't know how to act like I'm limping.
Instead of acting my age, why can't I live my age? The problem with both sides is that we can’t define age.
Age is not a number, so they tell us, but more a state of mind. Embracing who I am feels more genuine than conforming to societal norms.
Fifteen years ago, on my 60th birthday, I made a resolution to myself that I’d have no more birthdays. At 60, I was all I needed to be in terms of years.
I don't need any more age to define myself. If I don't know who or what I am at 60, I’ll never find out.
I've decided to never act my age because embracing my true self, regardless of society, brings me more happiness and freedom than conforming ever could.
The great challenge of life for me is always to be true, and it’s not always easy. In reflecting on this, I was reminded of a verse of scripture.
“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight.”
— Proverbs 12: 22
Pondering this verse, I believe my main objective in life is to delight God and not yield to the demands of anybody else — no matter my age.
Dr. Snyder is a former pastor who lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, wife Martha, in Ocala, Fla. His email is [email protected].
