Public health officials are warning of a new pandemic on the horizon tentatively called the “Tongue in Cheek” Disease.
“It will be far more common than COVID, but not nearly as serious,” said Dr. R. U. Kidding, doctor of medical malpractice, at the Humorcology Department of the world-renowned Mayonnaise Clinic in Hellman, Oregon.
The disease behaves very strangely, but is always characterized by a lack of seriousness and uncontrollable laughter.
Dr. Kidding advises Pierce Countians to not take themselves or the disease too serious.“ If you suspect you have the disease, please call the state hotline at BR549,” he said.
The state hotline, which was contracted to the lowest bidder several years ago, is a model of ineptness and inefficiency and good luck trying to get anyone to answer the phone.
In fact, local observers say the contracted telephone service’s operators only answer the phone every February 29.
“Tongue in Cheek” disease generally affects the larynx, the pharynx, the Karens and the tongue and the cheek, but is rarely accompanied by any other symptoms.
No vaccine is needed, because unlike Ivermectin, the best treatment for tongue in cheek disease is laughter and lots of it.
