Recent efforts by the Pierce County Industrial Building and Development Board (IDBA) to lure new investors to the industrial park has finally paid off with the announcement that Mechano Conquest Partners (MCP) of Chicago has purchased approximately 25 acres for the construction of a new manufacturing and automated assembly facility.
Officials hope the new facility will bring high-paying 22nd century jobs to Pierce County. Once complete, the imposing new factory will use a series of specially designed, high-tech lightning rods to harness electricity for a series of automated conveyor belts used to assemble a variety of autonomous roving robots, atomic powered exoskeletons and speciallyprogrammed androids to assist in MCP’s ongoing efforts to bring about a one world government administrated by a central computer system.
During his visit to inspect the future location of the new factory, company CEO and heir to his ruthless family’s massive amber mining fortune, Malvin Mechano said the new factory will bring at least 10 good jobs to the Pierce County with the potential for 10 more if things go well.
“The entire operation is fully automated, so the machines will all be built by other machines,” said Mechano. “Mostly we’ll have human workers on hand to dig holes, fill the holes back up, smash big rocks into smaller rocks with hammers and then haul away the rocks in wagons. That sort of thing helps train A.I. to understand humans’ proper place in the new world we’re building.”
Asked what the robots will be doing, Mechano said, “Mostly painting and making music, reading classical literature, composing poetry. Just enjoying life in general— if they were actually capable of enjoying anything.”
Responding to claims his new facility will drain the tricounty water table and emit dangerous gamma-wave radiation, Mechano said the accusations were totally unfounded. “The only people who believe things like that are tree-hugging hippies and my arch-nemesis Upright Man!”
Following his outburst, Mechano refused to take any further questions and returned via teleporter to the nightmarish future year of 2112.
