“Our Lord is a forgiving Lord.”
That’s how Sammy’s eulogy began.
I’m no expert on eulogies. I’ve heard maybe 75 or so, and, thankfully, haven’t had to be the subject of one.
But, when a eulogy begins “Our Lord is a forg iving Lord,” my thinking is that it’s a good thing the eulogized isn’t around to hear it. Because if he was, he would realize he was in for some serious reckoning.
The story goes: My wife and father- in-law went to their cousin Sammy’s funeral, held many years ago at a Valdosta cemetery.
Sammy had lived a hard life, with his chief accomplishment being that he was an expert lockand safe-cracker. On his coffin, there was a tiny lock holding Sammy’s lid down.
“Sammy would crack that little thing in about half a second,” my father-in-law whispered to my wife as the pastor rambled.
Of all a pastor’s duties, I respect the eulogy the most. To have to come up with something to say — something that will soothe pain and put things in perspective, something that will capsulize a person’s life — seems tremendously difficult, even when the deceased is a very popular, forthright person.
But think about the person the pastor didn’t know too well. Or who strayed from God’s path quite often. Or someone who always seemed down on their luck.
I guess you could just bury yourself in scripture, like Sammy’s preacher did. Or you could start telling jokes. Or you could give someone else’s eulogy.
I wonder what the guy who did Hitler’s eulogy said? Sounds like a tough gig to me.
Toward the end of Sammy’s eulogy, the pastor went in another direction — a bizarre one.
In closing, he said, “Sammy goeth into the night like a wet rat…” I have no idea what he said after that. My wife and father-inlaw were so flabbergasted by the “wet rat” reference, they paid little attention to the last few words. “Did he just say ‘wet rat?’” Yes, they concurred. He said “wet rat.” But what was the significance of the “wet rat?”
Was it an analogy? A simile? A slip of the tongue? Was he meaning to say “Sammy goeth into the night like a wet nap?” A wet cap? A ret wat? Why use the term “goeth” unless it's some kind of scripture?
We’ve called in biblical scholars, presenting them with the “goeth into the night like a wet rat.” They’re flummoxed.
Goeth into the night like a wet rat? I told you it was a tough gig.
• Len Robbins is the editor of The Clinch County News. He can be reached at lrobbins@clinchcounty news
