I have a flaw ya’ll.
Well, probably more than one, but for this one I am quite well known.
I’ll have an accident of some sort every few months or so (usually an embarrassing fall) and, as my friends tell me, when I do it, I do it good.
I did it good last Saturday.
Ironically, I was telling someone about my biggest and scariest episode just moments before my fall. I tumbled out of my truck a couple years ago and nearly ran myself over. That episode warranted me a lovely ride in a helicopter over to Memorial Health in Savannah, but it’s a story for another day.
Saturday’s fall I can actually blame on something besides complete negligence on my part. I’ve been having problems with blurred vision, probably from staring at a computer screen for hours every day, not to mention I crossed into a new decade this year — each one brings another set of ailments I’ve been told.
So, rather than put in my contacts Saturday morning, I decided to wear glasses and give my eyes a break. That decision proved to be my downfall, quite literally, a few hours later. I forgot glasses tend to mess up my depth perception.
We were halfway through my first of several music practices in preparation for Sunday’s Christmas service when I turned from my keyboard to make a music notation for our guitarist. Thinking I still had a good foot or so in front of me before coming to the edge of the platform, I stepped, quite confidently, right off the stage.
My husband was several feet away and another friend was seated on the organ bench. The guitar player was still holding his instrument, but made a mad grab to move his metal music stand out of the way as I flailed toward the floor. There was no one close by to stop my wipe out.
My left knee took the brunt of it all. Poor thing. It swelled up good and, days later, is still a black and blue mess.
The next night I sleepily returned to the bed after a bathroom trip (yet another anomaly of this new decade) and, forgetting the injury, climbed in on my left knee.
Jeremy mumbled, “bad knee, huh?” Four years in and he’s got me pegged.
Feeling the embarrassment of my fall, I jumped right up and resumed music practice Saturday morning. I stood for two more hours on the throbbing knee before heading home. Ice packs and ibuprofen work wonders though.
I should probably consider buying stock in Advil with my propensity for falling, and no longer will I wear my glasses out of the house.
I was asked later if my fall was an attempt at making a grand entrance or an exit. No question. It was definitely an exit, one I wished not to come back from at all. But, being clumsy also brings with it an opportunity to become an expert in self-deprecating humor, and I’ve got that down pat now — Just wait until you hear how I ran myself over with an F-150 and lived to tell about it!
• Sarah Tarr Gove is news editor of The Blackshear Times. Email her at email@example.com.